In 1 Corinthians 7:27, Paul tells us that if a man is married, he shouldn’t seek to be single; and if a man is single, he shouldn’t seek to be married. Of course, in other parts of the same chapter, Paul expounds upon his belief that a single man is better suited to carry out the work of God than a married man. A single man, Paul tells us, looks towards the things that be of God, he is better able to do the work of the ministry than a man who has a wife to look after. Of course, a single man whose focus is on getting married, isn’t doing any more ministry than a married man is (possibly even less). Does this mean that a married man can’t serve God? of course not. Peter was married (we know, because Jesus healed Peter’s mother-in-law), yet he was the man to whom Jesus gave the keys to the kingdom. In Acts chapter 18, Paul shared with a couple, Priscilla and Aquila, and they went on to share with a man named Apollos. Apollos is mentioned again in 1 Corinthians, and the context of that mention suggests that Apollos had led many people to Christ.
The point is that a married man has other things he has to take care of that a single man doesn’t. If it comes down to it, a single man can camp out in the corner of the living room, spend the night, and in the morning go out and spread the gospel some more. A family man can’t just deny himself; he has the responsibility to take care of his family. A married man can still do many things, though. A man whose main desire is to be married and raise a family, though, will often miss opportunities to share the gospel (because he’s trying to figure out who might be the one to ‘complete’ him), and is going to have an even harder time keeping his mind right than a married man. Please understand, I’m not talking about dating; I’m talking about someone (and I’ve been using male pronouns, but it doesn’t have to be a guy) who is so convinced that they need to be married (even though they don’t have someone in mind) that they have a hard time focusing on anything else.
Love happens. God created us to love one another, and He also created us with the ability to procreate. Marriage is honorable; but if God wants you to be married, he will find the right person for you. Is it wrong to pray for a spouse? I’m going to reserve judgment on that. That could be considered seeking a wife (or a husband), but, it seems to me that if you pray it through, and then get on with your life, and don’t let those thoughts about what married life will be like, then maybe that’s okay. Maybe.
But, if every time you walk into a restaurant, you’re scanning for a potential spouse; or even a church group activity (“Well, at least here I should be able to find someone who believes the same thing I do”), then I think you are making a mistake. You may very well meet the right person at a restaurant or a church group, but it probably won’t be because you were trying to. I would suggest that it is considerably more likely that you will meet the wrong person that way, and not recognize that they are the wrong person until it’s too late.
The point is that a married man has other things he has to take care of that a single man doesn’t. If it comes down to it, a single man can camp out in the corner of the living room, spend the night, and in the morning go out and spread the gospel some more. A family man can’t just deny himself; he has the responsibility to take care of his family. A married man can still do many things, though. A man whose main desire is to be married and raise a family, though, will often miss opportunities to share the gospel (because he’s trying to figure out who might be the one to ‘complete’ him), and is going to have an even harder time keeping his mind right than a married man. Please understand, I’m not talking about dating; I’m talking about someone (and I’ve been using male pronouns, but it doesn’t have to be a guy) who is so convinced that they need to be married (even though they don’t have someone in mind) that they have a hard time focusing on anything else.
Love happens. God created us to love one another, and He also created us with the ability to procreate. Marriage is honorable; but if God wants you to be married, he will find the right person for you. Is it wrong to pray for a spouse? I’m going to reserve judgment on that. That could be considered seeking a wife (or a husband), but, it seems to me that if you pray it through, and then get on with your life, and don’t let those thoughts about what married life will be like, then maybe that’s okay. Maybe.
But, if every time you walk into a restaurant, you’re scanning for a potential spouse; or even a church group activity (“Well, at least here I should be able to find someone who believes the same thing I do”), then I think you are making a mistake. You may very well meet the right person at a restaurant or a church group, but it probably won’t be because you were trying to. I would suggest that it is considerably more likely that you will meet the wrong person that way, and not recognize that they are the wrong person until it’s too late.
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