A Heinous Sin

Part of me hates to bring it up, but rape is mentioned a few times in the Bible, and only very briefly each of those times. I believe that there are some important items for discussion in those stories. There are two women that were raped in the Bible whose stories I want to discuss.

The first one is Jacob's daughter, Dinah. It seems strange to me that there is no account at all of her reaction to being raped. I understand that the general consensus at the time was that women thoughts and feelings were not important, but it still seems strange to me. It does say that her brothers were extremely upset. Perhaps that's an understatement. Her brothers destroyed a city in order to get vengeance. Jacob felt that they overreacted. We don't really know his reaction to the rape itself, either; we only know his reaction to his sons' reaction. I can't imagine that he was happy about his only daughter being raped, but, at the same time, he clearly worried for the safety of his entire family if some other group of people decided to take vengeance on behalf of the people that his sons had killed. The thing that I find interesting is that Shechem, the man who raped Dinah, expressed a desire to take her as his wife. Was this an act of conscience? Was he saying, "Oh, I realize that I have done wrong by you, marry me, and let me try to make it right."? Maybe he just felt it was socially acceptable to rape a woman as part of the dating ritual... It just seems very odd to me; I can't imagine raping a woman, and then asking her to spend the rest of her life with the one that raped her. Can she possibly expect that to ever develop into a loving relationship? To be honest, though, I have to admit that stranger things have happened.

The other woman was Tamar. Tamar was one of King David's daughters. One of David's sons, Amnon, Tamar's half-brother, convinced himself that he loved Tamar, but that David would never let him marry her. Apparently he thought David wouldn't approve of a sibling wedding, even when the two were only half-siblings. Tamar thought that David would approve, but he wouldn't even consider approaching his father with such a request. Finally, on the advice of a friend, Amnon lured Tamar to his house, and raped her. Afterwards, having forced her, Amnon now hated her. I think, psychologically, it's fair to assume that he felt guilty, and even the sight of her reminded him of his guilt, so he couldn't stand to be around her. She, meanwhile, having a forgiving heart, was willing to spend the rest of her life with him. I cannot even imagine what that must have been like for her. He sent her away, though, even though she protested that sending her away under those circumstances was worse than the act of rape.

For what it's worth, the victim's brother(s), in both instances, reacted pretty much the same way (Tamar had a full brother, named Absolom, that later killed Amnon). Both victims’ fathers are portrayed as being pretty passive about the incidents. I can't believe that Jacob and David didn't care, but, in both instances, there were other concerns. Jacob and his sons were surrounded by other peoples, and Jacob had to concern himself with how these other peoples would react if they demanded vengeance, David had the problem that the rapist was his own son.

The attitudes of the two rapists, after the fact, couldn't be more different. One wanted to marry his victim, even though he barely knew her; the other had known his victim for years, and, up until he raped her, thought that he loved her, but after the fact, couldn't bear the thought of marrying her. Violence and sexual intimacy are two things that can change a person forever. They tell me that rape is an act of violence, not a sexual act, but even if sex is not the main intent of the perpetrator, for the victim, it is an act of sexual violation. This is the sort of thing that leaves an invisible scar. God can heal those scars in time, but for most victims, they carry that scar for all of this life. Some people won’t want to hear this, but sometimes the attackers carry scars, too. Sometimes a thoughtless act causes mental anguish later, when one recognizes the effect that the action had on other people, and feels a responsibility for it (not that all attackers come to feel responsible, but some do).