The Biological Clock

I mentioned Hannah briefly last week. She was the mother of Samuel, and promised to loan him to God before she even got pregnant. It is clear from her story that having children was very important to her. Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 7 that “if the flower of her age pass,” let them marry, that is not a sin. I think what Paul was referring to is what most people today would call the woman’s biological clock. Perhaps that is what Hannah was dealing with.
Not every woman wants children. Some women want children, just not right now. Sometimes there are other things they want to do first. Maybe they feel a calling to do something for God that they wouldn’t be able to do as a mother. Perhaps they put their career first, at least in their twenties and early-to-mid thirties. When they decide that they have established themselves, or succeeded in whatever it was that they intended to do in their professional lives, sometimes they are a little old to be having children. Of course, one can get married, and still choose not to have children (at least, in the twenty-first century one can; it was probably considerably more difficult in the first century). There is nothing wrong with that. I think that it’s important to note that Paul says that staying single is better, because one can do more for the Lord, but that getting married is good, too. There’s nothing wrong with having kids, but there’s also nothing wrong with not having kids. Being a mother is pretty much a full time job in and of itself. It doesn’t leave you a lot of time to encourage other people in the Lord. It can still be done, but raising children will soak up a lot of your time (if you do it right).
The point that I’m trying to make is that, the decision to have children, or not to have children, is a personal choice. There are some people that have a calling on their lives that simply cannot be fulfilled as a mother (or a father), but, for most of us, God has left that decision in our hands.
I am particularly concerned about women that put off family life for one reason or another, and then, when they start feeling their biological clock ticking, suddenly get anxious about finding a husband and having babies. Don’t tell me that doesn’t happen, it does. I realize that a lot of women that have had that happen to them don’t want to admit it, and that’s okay; I’m not asking for confessions. The sad part of it is, when a woman finds herself in such a situation, and starts trying to make things happen, instead of letting God have control, she winds up seeming desperate. Did you ever notice that a less-than-attractive confident person usually gets more dates than a very-attractive desperate person? On the face of it, that may not make a lot of sense, but desperation can make a person seem a lot less attractive. I think that guys tend to think that even if she looks good, there must be something seriously wrong with her for her to be so desperate. I’m sure that this works in reverse, too, but guys are much less susceptible to the biological clock. Yes, we sometimes act really goofy when we start thinking that we’re ‘getting old,’ but with us, we suddenly start trying to do things to prove that we’re still young; getting married and having kids isn’t usually a symptom of a male mid-life crisis. If anything, it’s more likely that a man will leave his wife and kids to go do something completely stupid because they are part of what makes him feel old.
Think about it, though, ladies, would you go out with a guy that came across as being desperate? Of course not. So, why do you want to chase after us acting desperate? Just relax, take a deep breath, and let God have His way. If that guy that seems like the perfect husband really is, then God will bring the two of you together. You don’t have to rush things; remember that patience is a virtue, and in your patience possess ye your souls.