Just a few thoughts on the subject of marriage:
Eve was created specifically to be Adam’s wife. Of course, Adam didn’t have a lot of choice in the matter (I’m sure you’ve heard the joke where God told Adam He would create for Adam the perfect wife, but it would cost him an arm and a leg. “Gee, that’s pretty steep, God, what can I get for a rib?”), but she was the right woman for him. Cain had a wife (Where did she come from? The Bible doesn’t really say). A wife. Abraham had a wife, but then, after the promise was given, Sarah had a hard time believing that she could have a child, so she turned over her handmaid, Hagar, to Abraham (apparently Abraham had a hard time believing it, too). God later made it clear that this was not what he had intended, but, for whatever reason, very little in the way of punishment was meted out to Abraham for his lack of faith, although he had to deal with the consequences. Isaac had his Rebekah, and there is no mention of any other woman in his life.
Jacob (also known as Israel) ended up with two wives and then two more wives (Genesis 30:4-9), but not really by his own choice. The love of his life was Rachel, but Rachel’s father, Laban, tricked Jacob. When Jacob first asked about marrying Rachel, Laban agreed that if Jacob worked for Laban for seven years, then the marriage could take place. Perhaps Laban thought he could marry off his older daughter, Leah, within seven years. It didn’t happen. Custom dictated that Laban marry off his daughters in order (at least, that was the reason he gave Jacob as to why he switched daughters on Jacob). So Jacob goes through the wedding, thinking that he’s marrying Rachel, and wakes up the next morning, only to find that he is married to Leah (I’m thinking that there was probably an inordinate amount of alcohol consumed before the wedding. I wonder how that made Leah feel, that her father felt like he had to get her sister’s suitor liquored up in order to get Leah married off?). A lot of men would have simply kicked Leah to the curb, “I didn’t work seven years for YOU!” and demanded satisfaction from Laban. Jacob, however, knew that Leah was no longer a good candidate for marriage, and that it was because of him (granted, because of something that he was tricked into doing, but something that he did, nevertheless). Jacob, apparently, also understood that Laban did what he felt he had to do (can’t let Rachel marry until Leah is married, but Leah doesn’t have a suitor, and Rachel has been promised). Later on, as the two sisters competed with each other, they brought their handmaids into service. It seems to me that Jacob would have been happy with just Rachel, and yet, he allowed himself to be (what’s the plural of henpecked?). Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not suggesting that Jacob’s problems were all because of Leah and Rachel; I’m not even suggesting that those problems were all because of Laban; a lot of his problems were simply because he was such a nice guy, and he tried to make everybody happy. This probably should have served as an example to his descendents as to what NOT to do, but a lot of them seemed to think that it was okay to have multiple wives and concubines as long as they weren’t nice about it…
King David had many wives, and a few concubines, and it wasn’t so much them that got him into trouble (although Michal was troublesome at times) as the fact that, for him, they weren’t enough. Solomon had an incredible number of wives and concubines, and they definitely got him into trouble, but, again, not so much because they were evil, or wicked, but because he allowed himself to get spread so thin trying to see to their needs that he stopped attending to God.
Of course, Jesus said that when a man marries a woman, they two become one flesh. Paul also told us that a bishop or a deacon should be the husband of one wife—and I think it’s fair to assume that he was not commanding marriage, he was specifying quantity… It also occurs to me that, even though he specified bishop or deacon, that doesn’t necessarily exclude the rest of us from that, because sometimes callings change (just because I’m not filling the position of a deacon now, it doesn’t mean that I won’t get called into that position later).
Eve was created specifically to be Adam’s wife. Of course, Adam didn’t have a lot of choice in the matter (I’m sure you’ve heard the joke where God told Adam He would create for Adam the perfect wife, but it would cost him an arm and a leg. “Gee, that’s pretty steep, God, what can I get for a rib?”), but she was the right woman for him. Cain had a wife (Where did she come from? The Bible doesn’t really say). A wife. Abraham had a wife, but then, after the promise was given, Sarah had a hard time believing that she could have a child, so she turned over her handmaid, Hagar, to Abraham (apparently Abraham had a hard time believing it, too). God later made it clear that this was not what he had intended, but, for whatever reason, very little in the way of punishment was meted out to Abraham for his lack of faith, although he had to deal with the consequences. Isaac had his Rebekah, and there is no mention of any other woman in his life.
Jacob (also known as Israel) ended up with two wives and then two more wives (Genesis 30:4-9), but not really by his own choice. The love of his life was Rachel, but Rachel’s father, Laban, tricked Jacob. When Jacob first asked about marrying Rachel, Laban agreed that if Jacob worked for Laban for seven years, then the marriage could take place. Perhaps Laban thought he could marry off his older daughter, Leah, within seven years. It didn’t happen. Custom dictated that Laban marry off his daughters in order (at least, that was the reason he gave Jacob as to why he switched daughters on Jacob). So Jacob goes through the wedding, thinking that he’s marrying Rachel, and wakes up the next morning, only to find that he is married to Leah (I’m thinking that there was probably an inordinate amount of alcohol consumed before the wedding. I wonder how that made Leah feel, that her father felt like he had to get her sister’s suitor liquored up in order to get Leah married off?). A lot of men would have simply kicked Leah to the curb, “I didn’t work seven years for YOU!” and demanded satisfaction from Laban. Jacob, however, knew that Leah was no longer a good candidate for marriage, and that it was because of him (granted, because of something that he was tricked into doing, but something that he did, nevertheless). Jacob, apparently, also understood that Laban did what he felt he had to do (can’t let Rachel marry until Leah is married, but Leah doesn’t have a suitor, and Rachel has been promised). Later on, as the two sisters competed with each other, they brought their handmaids into service. It seems to me that Jacob would have been happy with just Rachel, and yet, he allowed himself to be (what’s the plural of henpecked?). Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not suggesting that Jacob’s problems were all because of Leah and Rachel; I’m not even suggesting that those problems were all because of Laban; a lot of his problems were simply because he was such a nice guy, and he tried to make everybody happy. This probably should have served as an example to his descendents as to what NOT to do, but a lot of them seemed to think that it was okay to have multiple wives and concubines as long as they weren’t nice about it…
King David had many wives, and a few concubines, and it wasn’t so much them that got him into trouble (although Michal was troublesome at times) as the fact that, for him, they weren’t enough. Solomon had an incredible number of wives and concubines, and they definitely got him into trouble, but, again, not so much because they were evil, or wicked, but because he allowed himself to get spread so thin trying to see to their needs that he stopped attending to God.
Of course, Jesus said that when a man marries a woman, they two become one flesh. Paul also told us that a bishop or a deacon should be the husband of one wife—and I think it’s fair to assume that he was not commanding marriage, he was specifying quantity… It also occurs to me that, even though he specified bishop or deacon, that doesn’t necessarily exclude the rest of us from that, because sometimes callings change (just because I’m not filling the position of a deacon now, it doesn’t mean that I won’t get called into that position later).
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