Polygamy

The practice of polygamy has been in the news some, lately, and, even though it is a controversial subject, I thought that I would weigh in on it. It has been pointed out that it was generally accepted in the Old Testament, and never specifically forbidden in the New Testament. Let me first point out that just because something isn’t specifically forbidden, it doesn’t necessarily follow that it is okay.
Let me also say that it may not have been as common as you may think, even in the Old Testament. Granted, David had multiple wives, and so did Solomon, but they were both kings, they were not commoners. Abraham had a wife, Sarah, and a concubine, Hagar. He did marry another wife, but not until after the death of Sarah(?) It’s an interesting discussion, because Keturah had six sons by Abraham, and he was already old when Sarah died, so perhaps Keturah was a concubine (in fact, 1 Chronicles 1:32 refers to her as such), that had sons while Sarah was still alive—possibly even while Abraham was still young. I have to question that, though, because if Abraham had sons when God promised to make a great nation from Abraham’s seed, then wouldn’t Abraham and Sarah have assumed that God meant from his existing sons? There would have been no point in enlisting Hagar as a concubine, if Abraham already had a concubine that had already given him children. Isaac only had one wife, Rebekah. Jacob had four wives, or two wives and two concubines, depending on who you listen to. Gideon also had multiple wives. Very rarely is there any mention of anyone else having multiple wives. (Some have said that Moses had two wives, but the Bible only names one: Zipporah. Zipporah’s father has two names, though, and is sometimes called Reuel, and sometimes called Jethro).
The question arises, though, what is the difference between a wife and a concubine? Easton’s Bible Dictionary says that a concubine was a wife of secondary rank (it says more than that, but I only have so much space, and I don’t want to get sued for plagiarism). Smith’s Bible Dictionary points out that a wife could be divorced, whereas a concubine could not. Smith’s goes on to catalog four types of concubines: A Hebrew girl bought from her father, a gentile captive taken in war, a foreign slave bought, or a Canaanitish woman. The first two had rights under the Law of Moses, the third did not, and the fourth was actually prohibited by the Law (not to suggest that it didn’t happen, though). I should point out that, although Zilpah and Bilhah are mentioned as being Jacob’s wives, they were only with Jacob because they were Leah and Rachel’s slaves, and, in fact, Bilhah is mentioned as being Jacob’s concubine in Genesis 35:22. Apparently there wasn’t considered to be much difference between a wife and a concubine at that time.
By the way, from what I understand, a supporter of Biblical polygamy once challenged Mark twain to find any place in the Bible where polygamy was forbidden. Twain responded with Matthew 6:24. Quite frankly, though, even though one of the parables that Jesus told seems to support the idea of polygamy, Jesus also made it clear that when God created marriage, he created Eve to be Adam’s wife. He did not create a harem for Adam, he created a wife. The parable was intended to convey the idea that although many people can be saved, only those that are ready when He comes will be. Keep in mind that Jesus used parables to relate spiritual things to physical things that people could understand, but not necessarily physical things that he approved of; remember the unjust judge?

Relationships

There’s an old story about a woman named Sally Vinson, who was faithful woman of God. She was the organist at her church. She also happened to be a very pretty woman, but it was well known in the community that she didn’t date outside her church, which really meant that she didn’t date much at all, because single men at her church were few and far between. On enterprising young man realized that there was a way to take advantage of the situation, all he had to do was to join her church (of course, there were many others that had tried that, and been found out, but he was smarter than they were—at least in his own mind). So he began attending services at Sally’s church, but she didn’t seem to notice. Of course, he was sitting way back in the back, and she was at the organ, so it was hard for her to realize that he was even there. He was absolutely certain that if he could just get her attention, he was home free, but how? Then one Sunday morning, the preacher held an altar call. That’s it! She’s looking at each face as they come up for the altar call; they are standing close to the organ; the situation is perfect! So he went up. The preacher, recognizing that this is a newcomer to church, asked him, “Are you seeking salvation?” Startled by the question, our intrepid hero stammered, “N-n-no s-s-sir, I-I’m seeking Sal Vinson!”
One thing that I have become aware of, there are an awful lot of churches today that have a lot of women, and not many men. In many of these churches, the men are there only because of their wives and/or girlfriends. That seems really sad to me. If the only way I can maintain a relationship with a woman is to attend her church, and the only reason I’m attending her church is so that I can maintain a relationship with her, then I’m not really the man that she wants to maintain a relationship with, anyway, am I? I guess it’s better to attend church for the wrong reason than to not attend church at all, but not much better. At least if you’re in church, you may hear something during your waking moments that may actually make a difference in your life. Something may stir you up to read your Bible, and begin learning about your spouse’s faith…
I have posted before about how long-term relationships are based on commonality. There’s something to be said for the adage that opposite’s attract, but the novelty of that wears off after awhile. If you want to be happy on your fiftieth wedding anniversary, you should marry someone that you have a lot in common with. I think most of us have heard Dr. Neil Clark Warren’s talk about how his method is to match up people with fifty points in common. These are what he believes to be the most important aspects of personality. Even comedian Chris Rock has said that you should be with someone that is like you (“If you’re a crackhead, she should be a crackhead!”). Realistically, your spouse should be your friend, too; someone that you can discuss almost anything with for long periods of time without it turning into an argument.
If you are a Christian (or a Jew or a Muslim, for that matter), then your relationship with God should be the most important thing to you. Your significant other should have the same type of relationship with God that you do. It doesn’t necessarily follow that you both have to go to the same church, but if you are members of different churches together, the two churches should teach the same thing, and somewhere down the road, that should be consolidated. Eventually, you are going to want to attend church together, just make sure that both of you are there for the right reason. Of course, if you are attending church for the wrong reason, then your spouse should also be attending church for the wrong reason, but I’m not quite sure how that would work out.