Gossip

First, let me apologize for not posting yesterday. After the long week-end, yesterday was a very busy day, and, even though I had a pretty good idea of what I wanted to post here, I never did do it. Sorry. Of course, I would feel much worse if I had gotten E-mail, or angry comments...

Anyway, today I am going to talk about gossip. I think a lot of people have got the wrong idea about gossip. Most people seem to understand that, in general, gossip is a bad thing, but each of us seems to develop our own rationale about why it's only bad when other people do it.
One justification that I have heard is that it's not 'gossip' if it's true. I can't agree with that. First of all, how do you know if it is true? Did you actually see it? Or did somebody tell you that they saw it? Or (more likely), did somebody tell you that somebody else saw it? Even if you are talking about something that you actually saw happen, those stories tend to take on a life of their own after three or four retellings. Why start that?
Some people seem to think that it's okay if you're spreading 'celebrity gossip'--talking about people that you've never actually met, or are likely to ever meet. I had a guy tell me a while back that DC Talk had gotten busted for drugs. He said that was why there was such a long delay getting their 'Free At Last' album out. I asked him how he knew this, and he told me it had been in a magazine article. I asked to borrow the magazine, and he told me it wasn't his, but he gave me the name of a mutual friend who had a copy of the magazine. It occurred to me to ask if that was the copy that he had read; he replied that he hadn't actually read the article himself, he just heard about it. Oh, so the guy that owns the magazine told you about this article? Well, no, I heard about it from... At this point I had the distinct impression that there was an odor of flounder in the room. I went and talked to the guy that owned the magazine. His response? "That's the first I've heard of it." Why would you even spread something like that?
Some people seem to think that it's okay as long as you're not talking about somebody in the church. What if the person that you're backbiting starts coming to church? What if they quit coming to church because it gets back to them what you said? Where does that leave you?
At the same time, there are times when you feel the need to share a personal experience. Generally, anything that happens to me involves other people, so, when I'm talking about me, I'm also talking about others. What to do? Not mentioning names is a good plan (of course, not mentioning a person name, but including personal details ["Not mentioning any names, but a certain person who is six-foot three, with red hair, glasses, and a mustache..."]
defeats the purpose of not mentioning names). What you want to share is what happened to you, how it affected you, and what changes have resulted from it. That is very different than talking about what someone else did to you.
I will be honest about it, I have a hard time sharing personal experiences, because when I try to share, I feel like I'm either gossipping about other people have done or boasting about what I have done (or both).
Next time we'll talk about boasting...